I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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