the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Fuck appropriateness.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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