im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
that is very illegal...i love you.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
