i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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