Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
