I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
