Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
