he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
