jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
