If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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