He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
