and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
