you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
