The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she pinky promised me she was 18
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
