Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
