if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
no more duck duck goose at the bar
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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