she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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