Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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