I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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