There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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