Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
