C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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