matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
