but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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