Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
wow bdsm is so cute
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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