she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
