I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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