Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
