Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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