There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
