I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
