and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
