I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
