Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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