toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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