so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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