i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
