I seem to have left my pride at pride
Say something about gay babies.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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