No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
