so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Drunk is a universal language darling
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