and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
