I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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