I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
