That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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