they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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