I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
