Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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