But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
