i need an iv and a liver transplant
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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