when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
