She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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